Archive for the 'Journal Entries' Category

Where from here?

For the longest time I’ve wanted to do something with my two domains, besides just  using GROS as blog but motivation for me comes and goes. Such is life with ADD.

For now I’m going to do what i feel up to and not try to force myself to do anything. So first off I’m going to start point people to good msuic, anime, or games.

Such as my playlist of music I’ve found on youtube. It’s got a nice selection of music, and include AMV (anime music videos), live performances and more. Basically if I like the song and like to listen later I add it in. So you get music, and might get you interested in some different artiest and anime. Sadly a few songs are blocked, I’ll change them out as they’re unblocked/re-uploaded by their creators.

We Remember Love

So got another email from the blog called We Remember Love. The Arthur of the blog, Ghostlightning, actual quit posting nearly 3 yeats ago but people still respond to his last post and i get updates when they do since I did as well long ago.

So I reread his post all over , and all his post are good to read still to this day.

It kind of sad that he though that in 4 years of posting he said all he had to about anime and manga. For me anime, games, and the little manga I read are something always changes, always evolving, for better or worse. There is always at least one series or game that interest me (though we need more tank combat anime, even if there like Girls und Panzer) so I’m always think about them. I might not post about it but thoughts are always floating around in my head.

But I can understand that he wanted to spend more time with his family. Sadly I’m 35 and still haven’t found someone i could spend my  life with. Hopefull some day I will, and maybe even I will leave things behind for my family . I’ll just have to see.


Play RO again, just on euRO

Europe Ragnarok Online

Well playing Ragnarok online again, this time I’m on the euRO (European Ragnarok Online) server. The people there seem to be little older and a lot more mature.

I’m 34 now, and even in the past, beside the few times when my inner child escaped, I’ve always been way more mature mental. I was the kid when younger that prefer talking to adults and staying with them then dealing with kids my own age.  My mother always says “You act like  old man”.
Sadly iRO on both classic and renewal seem to be most people in their 15-20s. I tried joining a guild but just couldn’t fit in with the younger generation. And the people in this guild consider themself older players…  Sadly also people don’t seem to level the old way of Soloing or party leveling in classic iRO. They always seem to use other methods, that while worked, and could be consider legitmite seemed like cheating to me.  Like having a higher level character to kill a mvp while they used a hide clip after during damage to power level low level characters.

The main reasons I’ve been in (SOL) Navy for so many years (10+) is because their all as old as me or are older guy/gals then myself and I get along with them very well, though I bet they do get tired of my glass half empty personality lol.

Sadly most, if not all, of SOL navy doesn’t play games like Ragnarok online and similar Korean MMORPGs or more Indie MMOs. So I’m always alone on my adventures into what they consider foreign territory but I consider home territory.

Permanency and exploration.

Warn before hand all, I’ve got ADD and a learn disability that in the past (far past lol) the school I went to only said it was a problem with my tracking in reading and never told me more. Both of these together make my writing hard to read these days since I general don’t see many errors at all not matter how many time I proofread things. So it may cause headache and people with OCD to have issues, you were warned.


So just watch softpapa aka Kurt Bell’s last Japan Hike video and His one on getting rid of his library and was think about those and he’s previous videos. It got me think about he seem happy with constant changes in his life, and maybe on some level he needs that.

On the other hand I’ve spent most of my life moving from one city/town to the next. One year I went to 4 (or was it 3, number doesn’t really matter) different school in that year. And I’m sick of that life style.

For myself while I love exploring, seeing, and experience new things, I like have a home to go back to. I spend most of my time exploring even in video games even but it drives me nut when I don’t have a “home”, a place to return to, even though it’s only a video game.  Anymore in my life I seek permanency.

If I ever get a chance to move to Japan to work like I want to, find I like there and I can survive there then I will do what I can to stay permanently.  Anymore I just want to find a place I can belong and then stay there for the rest of my life.

Which is weird since I’ve always dreams of exploring the stars, but anymore when people describe how might do that in current time I’ve realized I’d never be able to. Simple because every method they describe means leaving earth for ever or so long you personally would never return. And that thought scares and saddens me. While it’s unlike mankind will explore the stars in my lifetime even if they do there would be no place for me in such a experience.

I seek permanency so much anymore I couldn’t follow my dream if the possibility ever was given to me.

Now I dream that someone in my lifetime would develop a way to build secondary body (organic or machine doesn’t matter) that could be link with your original and your could be in multiply places at once. Maybe using a unknown Quantum or psychic link. Guess even if I find permanent home for myself I’ll just keep on dreaming.

Edit: Course not 5 minutes after I complete this I find Kurt has post another video lol. This one also bough my thought back to this topic. Try as I may to find a way to reduce items and stuff I have I can never seem to do it. For myself the thought of have massive library seem pleasant to me since for myself it represents permanency. All that items I have represent my past and are in many ways a anchor for me to hold on to. They never change and are always with me even if I didn’t have a permanency in where I was living.

Hmm what now

Been having to looking for work but still wonder what to do with my GentleRainOfSerenity website. One thing I’m think of doing is to start doing Youtube let’s plays. Mainly games I like and older games people have forgotten about. I’ll imbed them here once I do start them. Going to be after I find a job though, My games drive failed and only thing I had was a 250 gig, and the one that died was 1TB. Need to find work and replace that drive before I can start recording let’s plays.

After or before that going to start anime reviews. I might not be able to afford to buy new games very often but can watch anime fairly easy. Just need to decide on what format I’m going to do them in.

CoolestMaster – Piece of crap?

So…the heats sink and fan I bought from my local computer store, and had installed about 3-4months ago just had it’s fan totally seize up. It stopped about 2 weeks ago but started up just fine after I restarted the computer so thought might of been a simple power issue or the wire was lose. Reseated everything and saw no issues, even the fan moved freely.

But no it was the fan it self, it was total seized up this morning, so much so I had trouble moving it be hand. My first time buying a  coolest Master product and already regreting it. 3-4 months only for a fan to seize up this bad, what a piece of crap. Not going to be buying another coolest master products for a good long while.

My livejournal shall not die.

Okay so I was looking through all my old friends’ LiveJournals and some haven’t even posted in 10 years. Make me sad to have lost touch with them all. So I decide as of now I will not let my own account go deads. I’ve now installed a cross post plugin into my blog so all journal post will go to both.

I won’t forget the past, or the fun I had. I will not lose the past, or the friends I have.


So….keep  coming back to my webpage and wonder what the hell to do with it. I’ve been wanting to blog with it, as well as do game/anime review etc but keep getting distracted.

In case you haven’t notices I’ve got ADD/ADHD. Never been official diagnosed with it, just told I had a learning disability when I was a kid so long ago. But I’ve taken enough class in physiology, education, etc to know sign to look for, and recognize them in myself.

But not going to take any medications for it. One: I hate visiting doctors and Only visit them when necessary, Two: It’s a long process of being diagnosed, and, Three: I hate take medications for anything but what is necessary.  Also I’ve seen what the medication to help with ADD/ADHD do to people.

Anyways it all mean my attention span (like my digestive system) is about as stable as a house of cards with a hyperactive hamster in it that just got it’s paws on a RedBull. I’ve tried to do stuff with this blog, and I still plan to do so, but takes a lot of effort to not be distracted by the next shiny object I see, or minecraft. I’ve come to see why they call the minecraft FTB mod pack I play “Minecrack”. Dear goddess, that FTB launcher shortcut it calling my name, must resist, must resist, must…….


Good bye to “We Remember Love”

We Remember Love Says Goodbye, and Thank You For All The Memories | We Remember Love.

Just found today that “We Remember Love” decide to close down back in October, damn I was out of touch. Visited the place off and on over the years and always enjoyed reading the articles. If you never visited the site before do yourself a favor and do visit it.


All of this remind me I really need to get my own butt in gear and start post as well since this place seem dead as well most of the time. Sadly it not like anyone ever reads these post anyways. It’s kind of like minecraft, single player is boring because no one ever see what you’ve built. But yet again “If You Build It, They Will Come”.

A Positive Post Apocalyptic future

Found some art from an artiest named Nick Pedersen earlier tonight and got me think about the general view of the Future.

Nearly every media, be it TV, movie, or video game seem to be obsessed with the Nuked out waste land future you see in games like the Fallout series. Nice to see Nick Pedersen work shows a much brighter future in the very least that it was a green world. If you want to look at Pedersen’s art you can find links to his site and a article below  this post.

I wish some game developer or executive would see the art and make a game with that style of world, instead of the waste land scenario. Only place you see similar thing to his work is in the Japanese Mangas and Animes like Yokohama Kaidashi Kiko and Jinrui wa Suitaishimashita. Seem their experience  of rebuilding after a near total collapse caused World War II may have gave them a more positive outlook on the future.

Also after looking at Pedersen’s art and think about it I decide to do a Post Apocalyptic build in minecraft in a few days. After I get somewhat into it I’ll post images here. It’ll be more about nature rebuilding and people adapting. I want to build something that looks nice and show a more positive look at the future.

Ragnarok Online Classic Server

Ragnarok Online – Updates – Step Back into the Past with iRO’s Classic server!.

So play iRO again, only on the new classic server this time. They’re working their way up from about Ep. 5 and will take the server update wise till pre-renewal. So finally get to play the game that I loved for so long.

Sadly the expanded classes suck as gunslinger etc are not in yet. But I’m looking forward to a Taekwon Kid/Master since they’re broken and about useless on renewal. Over all enjoy that class a hell lot more then my monk. It’s just a far simpler classes to level and use.

In case anyone is wondering why TKM( Taekwon Master) is broke it because nearly all their skills require binding to a specific  map and/or monster, and it near impossible to reset that bind. Pre-renewal this was not much of a problem since you keep getting the same EXP/Job exp from a mob no matter what you level was. In renewal you get less exp/Job exp from a monster the closer to and further above you get over their level.

So it come to the point where you get basically nothing for the area/monster you bind to and all those skills are rendered useless. Most people in renewal just ether stay Taekwon kid (if you get ranked there are bonuses check: TaeKwon Ranker) or go Taekwon master and put most of the skill points into finishing out the Taekwon kid skill trees.

Playing Wakfu

Found a new game that I’ve started playing. It’s called Wakfu. Actaul found the 52 episode animated series first then got into the game. Really enjoing the Enutrof class, but I’ve always loved merchant/treasure hunter classes. I’ll Write more about the Enutrof later.

More info on Wakfu Here

Playing on the north America NOX server since all NA are IP blocked from the other servers.

That is something that annoys me. Really getting tired that in this increasing international gaming environment that game companies are forcing every continent/nation to only play with others of their own area. I want to play with European players as much a NA players. Lots of people I’ve played with over the years have been from all corners of the world and annoying as hell when a company tell us “f**k you, you can’t play with your friend”. They may say their not but that exactly what they’re say with such restrictions.


#GuardiansOfRagnarok on deviantART

#GuardiansOfRagnarok on deviantART.

Check them out if your a Ragnarok Online fan.

Any ways I’m playing RO again and enjoying it. Leveling is a hell lot faster now, making gettign 99/50 and rebirthing a much more possible option now.

Took almost no time to get to job 50 on all my character that have been stuck as first classes forever, even on my Acolyte.   Hell lot more fun now, I remmber the day where I’d barely get a job level even put a lot of hours into it.

Now as long as you know what your character can do and hunt the right monsters you can get level much easier now. Still a challenge but no longer a impossible one.

On top of that they’ve got the Eden group now that give out leveling purpose quest and quest for gear. Can’t upgrade or store the gear but it’s all very nice and weights nothing. the lvl 60 stuff has nice stats such as the armor has +500 mp +50 sp and lots of armor and anyone can sue it. Their weapons are also some of the most powerful you get for base damage if your broke or new to the game, not as good as some of the more expensive one you can buy off other players but still good. So there all good if your broke, new, or hell just to deck out character you rare play and have no gear for.

So if anyone actual reads this and it think about trying the game or going back this is the perfect time for it.


Think about returning to Ragnarok Online

Ragnarok Online

Thinking about returning to Ragnarok Online if they are still offer the character rename for those that had the _Q and _C forces on them during the merger of the servers long ago. If not probably won’t go back. I’m old school and a character name/Handle is not something you just change or pick randomly.

Nothing piss me off more to find my character name is taken and they say to just add whole bunchy of numbers or random chracters to it and it’ll be just fine. I’m StarDruid, StarTrek-Man, Miah-Ohki. Not stardruid65a, Not starDruid_1, Not StarDruid_**** , and not StarTrek-Man_20303030303.

An online name is just like one in the real world, it let people identify you, it not something you just change because you feel like it or because it’s taken.

You might change it because it reflex an Old “you” and is no longer relevant much as I went from StarTrek-Man to Miah-ohki/Ken-ohki to finally StarDruid. But not something you change for kicks and giggles.

Fight against SOPA and PIPA

Tomorrow (My birthday) this site will be down to support the stopping of the Internet Censor ship bills SOPA and PIPA the threaten the stability and freedom of the internet.

Produce by politicians, who are being back by the entertainment industry (movie/music etc) that these two bill would allow companies to take down entire site like yahoo, Google or a web hosting company without any warning and with little work involves if just one site hosts and/or listed  on that site is in violation of the copyright law, or even if the companies just think they are.

It also allows the government to do so as well, allowing them to censor sites.

The way the bills say to go about it would also break the very backbone of the internet, Stopping DNS from list the site, and force blacklist of sites.

Sadly silicon valley doesn’t have the might to fight Hollywood, and the politicians are ignore the experts & business that run the internet. The politicians and entertianment industry have put out a lot of rederick and try to down play it but it comes down to the same type of censor ship & control China does with thier “great firewall of china” as it’s called.

More information can be found here:

Another new year approaching

So another new years is approaching and decide to post. Been a boring year again. Like usual I’m as lost as I’ve ever been, still trying to find something.

Sadly at this point I’m fairly certain I’m ADD/ADHD. The more psychology, education classes I take the more I’m certain, which explains where I’m always looking for the next game, next world.

On the new “world” topic I’m playing Star Wars: the Old republic (SWTOR) with my guild mates from SOL Navy. Fun so far, though I’d rather have a shoot game style like global agenda or similar, then the button mashing SWTOR has. But got to live with what you got.
Just hope to the goddess that I get into the PlanetSide 2 beta test, I need a game that more… “personal” if you will. Most MMORPG combat and everything else is just mouse clicks or button mashing. It really sperates you from that world. First Person shooters like the original Planetside put you into that world. How you play, and your own skill level effect how game play and lets you interact better with the world around you.

My Calm, Yokohama Kaidashi Kikō, Aria, and Second Life

Yokohama Kaidashi Kikō – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.

Came to a realization today as to why I enjoy Second Life so much as I was rereading YKK (Yokohama Kaidashi Kikō).  Have been trying to find images from the YKK Manga that give me good internal and external views of Alpha house/cafe so I could recreate it in Second Life.

So I began from the beginning again, 17 year into the past. As I was reading I realized that Second Life today is just like Alpha world (or Aqua(Mars) from Aria for that matter),  few people, but those you meet in general are friendly, and a big world empty of people yet full of amazing sites.

In fact many of the regions people have made, whether in a private one or on main land, mirror scenes for the YKK and Aria universes. Giant weird plants, forgotten broken cities, lonely houses in the middle of know where, Amazing New looking city & towns empty of people, and sights that can’t be explained, only seen for your self.

This all make Second life feel like a portal into Alpha or Akari worlds, places of calm, serenity, and beauty.

When every I explore Second Life, whether on foot, flying like superman, in a plane, boat, car, or Through a random gate address on the StarGate at my home, I regain that same feeling I get when reading or watching YKK and Aria.

A sense of peace, serenity, and a longing for a place in such a world. It’s the same longing i try to fill with every game I play and website I build. I can never truly fill that longing, but Second Life get me as close as I can to doing so, and lets me be part of that world for a brief time.

GROS Islands update

Gentle Rain of Serenity Islands.

For those visiting here above is the slurl to my land in Second life.

So an update. I’ve changes my land some today and have begun building a recreation of Cafe Alpha from Yokohama Kaidashi Kikō. Be slow going since unlike Aqua/Aria where I only had 52 eps to re-watch multiply times I got 6 ova eps and thousands of images from the manga. No schematics or blueprints means re-watching and looking at images over and over till I get an exact recreation.

Already enough knock offs and and recreations that look they there were redone in cartoon environment from other animes without me creating another one.

Also I will have a store up soon selling all the stuff I’ve made. Not sure if it’ll be on my GROS islands or on the main lands yet. Decide that later.

Car down

Had my card go down on my Sundays afternoon with it refusing to even turn over. It happen before and usually just need to wait a few before it starts fine. Got in to the shop Monday only to have them call and say when they finally got a chances to get to it it start just fine 30 times. I told them it does that on the phone the first time i called them. They kept it over night and finally called me this morning say they tested it and the starters bad.

So basically their first test was telling some low-be in the shop to start and stop the car 30 times because they were to swamped to do anything else.

And this morning they finally got a chance to actual test it.

Annoys the hell out of me when people don’t do their jobs. If they can’t get it in that same day like they said they could then just tell me when I first call and I’ll take it to a shop that can. Missed Monday’s classes because of that and missing today’s as well.

Has Space been forgotten?

Has Space been forgotten? Seems like it with very few space combat sim/MMO game (read one Black Prophecy) coming out. Jumpgate Evolution looks like it pretty much dead with the public relations guys say “no comment” on questions of is it dead.

Beside Black Prophecy no one seem to be making a space MMO game, much less one with true physics based flight. I have no interest in games like Eve Online (Yes I’ve play it, for to long to) where you can’t actually manually fly your ships or ones that you fly it like a damn arcade game, stopping and turning on a dime. Or crappy want-a-be’s like SpaceCowboys aka AirRivals that are arcade style flight shoots that add “space” to it to look cool but make it a joke.

Well at least Fallen Earth does a decent job of making a Fallout style ground based MMORPG/FPS mix. Maybe I should go back Fall Earth, DC universe Online sure hasn’t kept me interested much as I’ve played it. I keep going back to Istaria and MineCraft after just a hour or less in DC Universe online